First love

We begin our lives enveloped in protection
Floating in warmth, the echoing sounds of our first love.
She sings to us, rocks us to sleep
We lovingly kick her to let her know we're still there
Alive and kicking.
We are born.
When we are sick she sings to us
Soft melodies that soothe us
Songs we remember until we're old
We pass them down to our own daughters
To our sons.
On our skinned knees, she applies band aids
Our muddy shoes she cleans off
Our dirty faces she grooms
Licks her finger and wipes it off.
Wipes away our tears.
When the monsters come she scares them away
Removes the gum from our hair
How do we feel when the tables turn?
When her demons get the best of her
We know that it isn't her fault
But we ache for that love once more.
If our first love rejects us
Then we are unlovable.
The one we should trust most
Who carried us
Who we were once a part of
Demeans us.
Chastises us and puts us down.
Who's fault could it be but our own.
How do we reject that person
Who we will ache for as adult children?
Our fathers give love, but the nurturing
Is never the same.
To protect is the only game
That they will know.
We want our mothers.
We want their love.
And when that love becomes a game
The only thing we will understand
Is shame.
We have failed. If she doesn't love us
No one will.